I may have not been dealt the best cards, but in the end, I will play the best game.
my mom went to high school with jamie lee curtis and one time they both got caught smoking pot together and jamie told the teacher it was my mom’s and my mom was suspended and jamie lee got no punishment so think about that next time you want some activia
the laxative yogurt lady fucked over my mom
don’t trust college kids. I threw a party w plenty of food/drinks shit even weed and I wake up and you know what’s missing? my pineapple. who went to the back of my fridge and said imma take all this pineapple. damn son. take the free alcohol not my pineapple man…
this is really funny because about 2 months ago my friend and i were at a party and she stole a pineapple. like who does that
in geometry class today, a kid’s phone started siri while my teacher was explaining a proof, and it said “sorry, i didn’t understand that. could you say it again?” and mY TEACHER STARTED EXPLAINING IT AGAIN HE DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE THAT THE VOICE WAS OF A MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN OMFG
have you ever known somebody so shitty they completely ruin that first name for you?